To shave or not to shave...

To shave, or not to shave – that is my question
Whether ‘tis easier to keep the scruff on chin
And face the distaste of the ladies,
Or shave the uncleanliness right off,
And, by uncleanliness, meaning manliness.
To shave, to take away from manliness-
No more- and to shave to say I must face
The tearful trials of my fellow men
After each passing period- ‘tis a thing
Which I will not be able to handle.
To shave, to lose your manliness-
To lose manliness is to face criticism,
Ay, there is the problem,
For in shaving, what rumors may come about
As to why you may have done the deed.
To shave is to face the shameful snickers
As you continue down the hallway, buy ay-
What say the others who dislike the beards?
Ay the women-who look in disgust as we walk past
Who wants to face the shameful snickers,
The tears of you manlier friends *cough* Collin,
The barrenness of your face as you feel completely exposed,
The happiness of the many girls
As they think they get what they want.
‘Tis a terrible idea to shave the scruff.
Who else would keep the manliness?
Some men must stand up and choose-
Choose to keep their repulsive feeling facial hair-
For the good of all mankind.
But then there is the undesired loneliness,
When all who used to befriend you now ignore,
Simply because they are jealous of your beard;
And the girls don’t talk to you any longer,
Because they are repulsed by the manliness.
We arrive at school and wish that we had done
The deed and bladed the whiskers off the cheeks.
And as many have found, ‘tis an unwanted place to be.
Shave the beard and lose your companions,
Or keep it and intimidate those who you despise…
That is the problem which all must face